Necessary Evils

Posted on Thu Feb 6th, 2025 @ 9:53pm by Petty Officer 1st Class Ember Locksley & Commander Cornelius 'Kit' Hanlon

2,289 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: To Boldly Go
Location: Counselor's office, Deck 7, USS Fenrir
Timeline: MD 5, 1400

ON:

Kit let out a breath as he walked down deck 7, heading for the Counselor's office. It was part of this all, getting onto a new ship. It meant that it was time to have an assessment of where he was, how he was feeling, any stressors or other things. Kit didn't actually mind these sessions. He had always felt he didn't do too badly and that his outlook on life and his career was mostly positive. He had never felt judged by counsellors either, which helped. He was, however, aware that it was not an experience universally shared by Starfleet personnel, because when it all came to it, it was people. Not everyone clicked with everyone.

His counselor for now was Ember Locksley, a Petty Officer who he knew had come over from medical leave. He had read up on the USS Trial, more because she wasn't the only one who had come from there after medical leave. It made sense, if one ship was destroyed then obviously odds were that people would be reassigned together if they were discharged from medical at the same time. Even so, he felt for her.

He rang the chime and waited to hear a voice let him know he could go in before he stepped in, meeting the blue eyes of the red-headed Counselor. "Kit Hanlon, here for my counselling session," he said with a smile, raising an eyebrow. He had purposefully not used his rank, despite being in uniform. It was a simple message but one he had felt useful. If they had been underway, he'd be out of uniform, but because the irregular hours he used his uniform all the time.

"Ember Locksley," she offered her hand to the human officer, smiling warmly before motioning him further into the office. She wore casual clothes as was her preference for therapy; a rich green turtle neck with a dark grey tweed skirt. "It's a pleasure to meet you, can I get you anything?" she asked, her voice holding the tell-tale cut-glass accent of a woman from her English, aristocratic background.

He looked at her with a small smile at her manner, stepping in. "I won't say no to some green tea," he said quickly. "And it's good to meet you too, Locksley."

"Hm," she pursed her lips as she mused on his choice, moving for the replicator. "I may join you in that, please, take a seat," she returned with two cups of green tea, served in delicate Japanese bowls. Not her usual choice, but probably better for her. "I should get the real thing in here."

He smiled at the words, taking the cup from her. "Thank you," he said before he smelled it and then took a careful sip. "My sister Riley got me into green tea. She is somewhat addicted to it, but apparently it's difficult to get hold of the 'real stuff' on Betazed."

"Betazed, is that where she settled?" Ember asked as she eased back into her seat. She had enough information from his file to know that he wasn't from Betazed himself and was most definitely human.

"Yes, she's a diplomat," Kit said as he smiled with pride. "So for now she's there with her husband and daughter. He's Vulcan, so it's...well, the family holidays when we all get together can be a bit strange."

"I feel like there's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm not going to throw my career away by trying to tell it," Ember chuckled softly, sipping her tea carefully all the same. "How are you, Kit? May I call you that here? It's listed as your preferred name..."

"Yes, please, much better than Cornelius," Kit said quickly as he shook his head. "I'm okay. Excited to be here, I know its a retrofit but it still has that new ship smell. And a whole new crew, it's...going to be a lot of challenges, but also amazing at the same time."

"But you have some depth of experience in this, yes?" she asked it as a question, but she'd read his file and knew this wasn't his first rodeo as the First.

"In the role, yes," he said before he gave a small nod. "I had a Captain I served under who...made me find my own style. In fact, he goaded me into it by trying to break every rule written, unless I talked him out of it. Only realised halfway through part of it was to shape me to be...strong enough to always be honest with a Captain."

Ember gave a half smile at the words, her hands wrapped comfortably around the warmth of her tea bowl. As methods went, it seemed to have been effective in this case...but it might have also just broken him. It had been a hell of a risk on the part of a Captain, with another officer's professional future and mental health at stake, not his own. "Sounds like quite the crucible of fire..."

"It was," he admitted as he shook his head. "But it was what I needed, I guess. I was so used to being down in Engineering that the bridge world was...daunting. I always felt those there had better ideas than I had. It made me see my input was valuable and...it made me want others to feel the same. A Captain gives orders, but when you have an issue and need brainstorming a solution, the more the merrier."

"Does it still feel daunting up there?" Ember asked, able to understand how many people might feel that way. There was so much that training just couldn't prepare an officer for.

"A bit under a new Captain," he admitted as he met her eyes. "I don't know Captain Blake. It's daunting at the moment, until we...learn each other. And I see what sort of Captain she is, and how I best can assist her. My job's to make her able to do her job without getting bogged down into...other things."

Ember nodded as she watched him intently, smiling gently as she considered it. It was a lot of pressure and burden on one set of shoulders. "Why did you join the Fleet?" she asked, wanting to get a better understanding of his experience so far.

"I always wanted to join Starfleet," Kit said, looking almost shy at talking about it. Or bashful. "I was...maybe eight when I said I wanted to join. And then for my tenth birthday I got taken of a tour of the Sol system. And I fell in love with it. Space. Exploration."

Ember smiled warmly as she sat back, crossing her legs and tugging her tweed skirt straighter over her knee as she enjoyed the story. "A natural born explorer then," she nodded gently, logging all the details she was learning about him away in the back of her mind.

"I had some help," Kit said with a smile, shaking his head at the words. "My parents. A family friend. I wanted to go with the stars, but...also loved engines. Loved the history of it, of technology. Space flight was...like magic. Still is to me, how we have harnessed the forces to be able to be out here."

"So what made you take the leap from the engine to command?" she asked with genuine curiosity, because he sounded so enraptured with the magic of making it work.

"I got...restless, I think," he said as he looked at her. "Chief Engineers do hard work, but mostly it is about mentoring. And they get a voice at the table. I want more. I want to make decisions. I think I'd be a good Captain with time. So...I am going for it. And if it fails, if I am not good at it, I can always get myself in trouble and go back to engineering. Demotions don't sting for me, not that I've had one before."

Ember couldn't help but chuckle softly at the way he'd put it. Despite the jest in his voice though, she felt there was some truth to his words. But more importantly, there was a strong sense of realism in them, sensible and practical grounding alongside his ambitions. It felt balanced...healthy. "Well let's hope you maintain that record," she teased lightly.

"We'll see," he said with an easy smile that suited his features well. "Although I think I'll work well with the Captain. She was a great First Officer, most likely will be an excellent Captain too. I hope my experiences can help in other areas so she can focus on her command."

"So long as you remember to pace yourself too," Ember reminded him gently with a small, half smile, knowing how easily command staff could bury themselves in their work.

He made a face at that, but there was humour there too. Yeah, he would need reminding of that. A lot. "Maybe you need to check in with me now and then, make sure I do remember that."

"I had a feeling," Ember assured with a quirk of an eyebrow, but chuckled good naturedly. "So how have you been feeling recently? In a more...physical sense. Sleeping...eating..."

"Sleep's been a bit difficult," he admitted as he met her eyes, with a small smile. "It's the excitement I think. My appetite is good though, I've never...turned down food. And it still tastes good."

"And the rest of your health? Have you had any bouts of feeling under the weather?" she asked gently as she made a note of his physical symptoms, preferring to keep notes on his interpretation of them in his counselling file rather than relying on medical's.

He considered it, a small smile coming to him as he shook his head. "No, I've been good. Energy levels good, still getting my workout done daily. Which when I start feeling...ill, it's the first thing that stops getting done." And he had, in the past. Sure, he was busy and there was a lot to do. But physically, except not easily falling asleep, he had been good. He had been excellent actually.

Ember nodded as her fingers tapped lightly against the PADD to make note of it, but she glanced back to him to meet his eyes. "Let's give it a couple of weeks, but if your sleep is still troubling you at that point, I'd like you to either come back to us or visit Sickbay, agreed?"

"Agreed," he said with a small smile, nodding. He wasn't scared of medicals or seeking help if he had trouble. Maybe it was because he was old enough to have needed to see people about random aches, pains and (hazard of engineering) plasma burns. "Hopefully adrenaline will wear down and I can...sleep."

"I'm sure it will, but it does no harm to keep an eye on it all the same," Ember gave a casual, half shrug, not wanting to make an issue of it at this point. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about while you're here?"

He met her eyes, shaking his head. "No," he admitted before he gave her an honest smile. "I want to come back in a few weeks, I think I'll have gathered my thoughts and feelings by then and will be able to...really engage in it all."

"Sounds like a plan then," Ember gave the PADD a quick, sharp tap to log his evaluation, smiling warmly to him as she shrugged as if to say 'all done'. "Then you are free to go and get on with your day. Just...try and remember to pace yourself over the next week or two, hm?"

"I will, although feel free to ask me if I am during this time," Kit said as he stood, smiling as he watched her. "You know, don't be afraid to challenge me when it comes to that. I know my weakness is to...convince myself to push through."

Ember stood with him, a small smile of amusement coming to her as she smoothed the tweed skirt down. "Well then, I'll leave you with some homework. I want you to pay attention and try and identify when you're starting to convince yourself of that. Stop the inner dialogue, and then figure out why you need to convince yourself...and listen to *that* dialogue instead," she lifted her hands with a soft, forgiving smile. "It won't feel natural, so no recriminations if you struggle or can't. But I'd like you to at least...start paying attention."

He looked at her with surprise at how she put it before he gave an almost shy smile. "Yeah..." he nodded, because she had read him right. These were instructions he could work with, a real thing to do. It appealed to his engineering brain, a task list and clear instruction.

Ember nodded in return to him, offering a reassuring smile at reading the surprise on his features. She squeezed his arm with warmth before leading him to the door. "Good luck with getting everything ready in time for launch, although I doubt we'll need luck in the end."

He let out a breath at that, his mind already back on that. "We'll get there," he said with confidence. "Thank you, Locksley, for this and your time. I hope you'll enjoy being on this ship."

Ember couldn't help a wry smile at the words, clearing her throat as she glanced down to hold back the soft laugh that threatened. "Well, if all my patients behave as well as you, it will be a veritable pleasure cruise."

OFF:

Commander Kit Hanlon
First Officer

Dr. Ember Locksley
Counsellor
[PNPC Blake]

 

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